Breaking free from a difficult relationship is not easy. It takes guts and courage to take those first steps to break free. Then you will go through a time of grieving and loss as you realise that all that you had hoped for and dreamt about are not going to happen.
It then becomes the time to re think the future. What now?
The end dream of living and retiring and having fun with your spouse and hosting hordes of grandchildren goes out the window.... so the big question is NOW what?
Firstly you have to take a long look at yourself and see what needs to be done to bring about a healing and restoration to yourself. All that you have gone through has knocked the stuffing out of you. You no longer feel confident or worthy of much. You have been undervalued and starved of affection, nurturing and support for so long, it will take time to re-establish confidence and grow a new mindset so that you can expel limiting beliefs!
Trust me, you will have much to do , which will all take time! There is no quick fix to healing. Everybody takes a different path, different amounts of time and that is because each of us are unique. Your reactions and responses to situations will be coloured by your own unique and personal experiences. You may think that you are having a good day, and then suddenly you might see a white van, or hear some music which may trigger a negative response in you from the past. These moments may well catch you and surprise you, but they are also moments to take stock and savour how far you have come! Each accomplishment is a step towards the New You!
The secret is to Never Give Up and to stay persistent!
Some people may take years to fully recover, but each achievement is a moment to celebrate! It is the small steps that keep you on the path to VICTORY! Every step counts, no matter how small!
Once you have made the decision to change the course of your life, you must not look back, soldier on. It is not helpful to even consider going back to where you were. The relationship was not healthy, and will not suddenly improve because you left for a couple of weeks! Remember a Leopard does not change his spots! Those of you who have had narcissistic or PTSD partners will know how damaging these relationships can be. You may have spent years being belittled and rediculed, and accused of everything being your fault. Now you have taken the steps to be free from the negativity, rage and sudden outbursts. Breathe, be kind to yourself. Don't rush in to a new relationship, and find that you have jumped from the frying pan into the fire. STOP!
Take time to reassess, and reevaluate your life. Learn to forgive your past and yourself! Do not let past hurts and baggage weigh you down and rob you of new opportunities! You deserve it, and you owe it to your self! Step up and have courage to make the changes that can really make a difference to your life.
Remember you only get one life, why spend it in misery? Especially when you have got the chance to make changes and be the difference to yourself and to those around you.
I am sharing these experiences and thoughts as I continue on my journey of healing, growth and personal development. It is never too late to change, and you will be so grateful when you look back and see how far you have come!
I am not saying that you will have it all easy, as I am sure, like myself, you will make mistakes and fall into some nooks and crannies along the way, but pick yourself up, dust yourself down and give yourself a pat on the back for having the guts and courage to even have a go! At least you are not stuck in the rut you were in before!
Take a good look around and see that there is faith to climb the mountains, and the view from the top is magnificent! Have fun on the climb up, keep going! Breathe the air of freedom!
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